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DESCRIPTION: Burgundy Shirt with white lettering on front saying "Severely Normal"
This was one of my first shirts. I was poking fun at the
continuums that abound as well as the absurdity of
DESCRIPTION: Navy shirt with white artwork of umbrellas and raindrops on the front with letters below saying "Short People: Last to get rained on, first to drown."
No one ever buys this for themselves. Hmmm.
DESCRIPTION: Black shirt with white letters over red shadow saying, "Significantly Normal".
Face it, if we have to be put in a box, at least make it
DESCRIPTION: Navy shirt with white letters on the front saying "I don't need a social worker, my social life is just fine.
This was another quote of a peer of mine when I worked at
a local CIL. I couldn't of said it better myself.
DESCRIPTION: Black shirt with white artwork on front of huge stairway leading down. A wheelchair user has just flown off into the air over the steps. As his chair falls away he is popping a parachute. The caption reads "STAIRS: The Final Frontier".
This shirt is good until someone comes up with a
lightweight, economical stair-climbing wheelchair. Right
after the glow-in-the-dark lubricant and the twenty
gallon leg bag.
DESCRIPTION: Black shirt with white letters on front saying, "The Ultimate Denial: Although both have influence, I believe in nurture over nature, for in that belief lies the understanding that I have no one to blame for myself but everyone I have ever met." I signed it "Itznot Myphalt."
I was looking for an irrefutable cop out one day and
found it (after a Margarita or two) in the nature/nurture
argument. After I said it, it got really quiet for a
moment. Everyone at the table kind of shivered. Then we
ordered another round.
DESCRIPTION: White shirt with a black and red pen and ink drawing of a bunch of gondoliers standing in front of a gondola with poles in hand. They wear Ray-Ban sunglasses one and all. Even the dog? The caption reads "The Venetian Blind Society"
I don't know why. I just think this is really funny.
DESCRIPTION: White shirt with a red circle and line over a black asterisk kind of image.
Here's a rather esoteric entry for all the Kurt Vonnegut,
Jr. fans out there...(please flip through "Breakfast
of Champions" to refresh your memory) Unfortunately,
the world seems to be full of them (not Vonnegut fans,
but the people referenced by the shirt). While they
probably won't get it, you can still smile at them
DESCRIPTION: Burgundy shirt with white lettering on the front like a label with the saying, "Dr. Schuckster's Voodoo Gum Syrup Elixir and Chewing Tablets. Gauranteed to cure what ails you. Throw away that wheelchair! Throw away that Hearing Aid! Hell, throw away that seeing eye dog! Our Promise: Sure, you'll be walking, talking, seeing, hearing and feeling, but you're going to have real bad gas for the rest of your life."
There's no such thing as a quick fix. Everything has a
DESCRIPTION: Navy shirt with white letters on front saying, "What?"
Got a kid or a dad or a co-worker who says this a lot?
Yeah, me too. Drives me nuts...because I KNOW that they
heard me...and if you say "Oh, nothing", they
suddenly know exactly what you said. Selective
DESCRIPTION: Black shirt with white lettering on front saying "The world takes my disability far too seriously and frankly, I 'm not going to stand for it (Wheelchair Joke Number 43)
Yep, when folks take my disability more seriously than I
do it just makes one more barrier I have to deal with.
Lighten up on the Jerry Lewis schtick.
DESCRIPTION: Red shirt with white letters saying "When all else fails...lower your standards."
This is a great shirt to wear in public when you are
walking next to your significant other...especially after
an argument. Or as a new slogan for your agency.
DESCRIPTION: White shirt with a bunch of look-a-like business type suits with briefcases waiting for a bus. In back of them jumping up and down singing and waving is one person dancing, shall we say, to the beat of a non-traditional drummer. The caption reads "Why Be Normal? Normal is so mediocre."